HOOOOOOONNNNNNKKKKKK, VAROOOM ... "Get of the road asshole!" The stench of cigarette smoke and diesel exhaust filled my nostrils as the customary spring greeting was followed by the ever-familiar death stare and a middle finger disappearing into a cloud of diesel truck exhaust. "Screw you lazy ass redneck d-bag, sorry you are in a rush to get to Walmart to use your cigarette carton coupon that expires tonight" I thought to myself, while not having the courage to flip him off back. After all he was in a 2 1/2 ton truck and I was on a featherlight pedal bike. Alas, it must be spring and I must be pedaling my bicycle on a road again.
Everyone seems to have an opinion about pedal biker's riding on the roads. Many feel that pedal bikers should limit their pedaling to sidewalks and bike paths. In fact, if we took a poll, chances are the majority of motorists who are not pedal bikers themselves, would probably agree with the aforementioned red Chevy diesel truck with license plate #____ driving jackhole that welcomed me back to riding outside this spring.
I can see where they come from, I guess. But maybe, just maybe, it is due in part to not quite understanding the pedal biking community and the reasons why we do ride on roads. Let's forget for a minute that pedal bikers have just as much legal right as vehicles to pedal their faces off on regular roads (see this blog written by a brilliant lawyer a few years ago); lets forget for a minute that it is actually illegal for pedal bikers to ride their bikes on sidewalks; and lets set out the top 10 reasons why pedal bikers ride on the road instead of trails.
I can see where they come from, I guess. But maybe, just maybe, it is due in part to not quite understanding the pedal biking community and the reasons why we do ride on roads. Let's forget for a minute that pedal bikers have just as much legal right as vehicles to pedal their faces off on regular roads (see this blog written by a brilliant lawyer a few years ago); lets forget for a minute that it is actually illegal for pedal bikers to ride their bikes on sidewalks; and lets set out the top 10 reasons why pedal bikers ride on the road instead of trails.
10. Gnats.
These micro-nuisances splatter your face as they congregate in groups of
a gazillion back on the bike trails, sheltered from the wind. They will cover your body and enter every orifice
of your face as you fly through them. They
really don’t have a taste but they certainly splatter across your sunglasses
quite efficiently.
9. Walnuts. Walnuts litter many of the bike trails –
hitting these solid turd-sized land mines at 20 miles an hour with 23 millimeter
wide tires does not make for a good combination.
8. Recreational Pedal Bikers. Some shall call them “recreational pedal
bikers,” have either had too much to drink at the Cumming Tap and are
attempting to navigate their way home, or simply have the attention span of the
aforementioned gnat and can’t seem to stay on their side of the trail. This creates the peril of the not-as-unusual-as-you-might-think
head-on trail collision.
7. Runners, Joggers & Walkers. Bike trails are not just for bikes. Runners, joggers and walkers also use
them. Sometimes running, jogging or
walking three wide, they don’t always comprehend the term “bike trail” means
bikes are likely to go zooming by them. The
obligatory “on your left” will inevitably lead to a startled “oh my gosh” and a
tinkle in the drawers of the elderly walking population. I for one don’t want to be responsible for
the pedal bike induced cardiac arrest.
6. Dogs.
Some find bike trails a great place to walk their dogs. They are indeed a fabulous place to walk a
k-9 companion. Don’t get me wrong, dogs
are awesome, but owner on one side of the trail with dog on the other and leash
in between creates a convenient clothes-line effect for those traveling on a
pedal bike down the middle of said trail.
5. Squirrels. These little schizophrenic bastards dart on
and off of the bike trail unable to decide which side will offer them
protection from the fast approaching unidentified pedaled object. While in a car, you can simply cruise on by
and over them if they fail to make up their mind fast enough, a pedal bike is a
different story. You will inevitabley
slam on your breaks, swerve your ass off or otherwise engage in an ungraceful
maneuver that nearly costs you your life in an attempt to avoid hitting them.
On the road, they are either already squished or safely in a tree, well out of harms way.
4. Intersection Crossings. Trails have intersection crossings about
every mile or so. Cars turn right on red
even when the pedestrian light is green without looking for pedal bikers. Almost on a yearly basis, this results in a pedal bike squishing. More car v. pedal bike accidents happen at
trail crossings than on the open road. Don't believe me? This dude sets out a pretty good argument that you are actually safer pedaling on a road than on a bike trail. http://csua.berkeley.edu/~piaw/accident.txt
3. Hills. You can't train for a triathlon or pedal bike race without training on hills; you can't find real hills on a bike path that
is laid out over an old rail road track.
To get hills a pedal biker must ride on the road. It is that simple.
2. Open Road. Ever go for a run only to stop every block
and wait for the light to turn green? Would you get on a treadmill if it
stopped every 5 minutes and you had to restart your run? Would you lift weights if in the middle of the set you had to rack them and wait 30 seconds before restarting? Would you do a "body-pump" or P90X if the instructor froze for 30 seconds randomly through your workout? Probably not because that would certainly not be a good
workout. That’s what riding on most bike trails is like. Hence, the open road is the only way to go.
1. Because My Friend Saw This Along the Bike Trail Once. I
for one would rather get cussed at by a pissed off red-neck then get eaten by a Bobcat. Judge me if you want...
If you are a pedal bike road rider hater and have read this, at least now you know why we do it. You are certainly free to express yourself and your disdain for those of us out there just trying to get a good work out in. Feel free to cuss, swear, flip us off, moon us and otherwise express yourself in a peaceful manner, but if you could at least avoid honking and buzzing us with your over-compensating noisy-ass exhaust trucks, causing us to almost wreck, that would be much appreciated.
PS: The pictures used in this blog (with the exception of the Bobcat taken by my friend Mike Reagan) were freely borrowed from the internet and are the property of whoever took them and posted them out there for our amusement.
